My Well-Being

Recently on Boomer Alley Radio, we did a story about Gross National Happiness. This is an indicator that was created in Bhutan in 1972 to determine the economic health of a country instead of using the Gross National Product.

Now I'm pretty sure that the King of Bhutan came up with this because they were broke. Instead of using economic development as an indicator of a nation's wealth, they used things like preservation of the environment and quality of life of the people. This became known as the country's Gross National Happiness.

Now there's a group bringing this concept to our country. Well I had that thought. With the economy being the way it is, and the fact that we're all a bit cranky lately about a lot of things that are going on, we should come up with a way to determine our Personal Gross Happiness.

So I'm introducing this concept to our country because if each of us is happy, then the nation will be happy. And if this catches on, in terms of Gross National Happiness, I think we can beat the hell out of China, Russia, any of the OPEC nations…well pretty much any other country, as long as we're happy and we make them miserable.  And we're already pretty good at that.

So to determine our Gross Personal Happiness, I've come up with The Boomer Alley Happiness Quotient Test to determine if you are happy. Here's how it works. I'm going to ask you a few simple questions and we'll see if you're a happy person. Now look, if you're one those people who's always all doom and gloom or if you didn't fill out your census form because you think the census is a conspiracy by the government to take over our brains, don't take the test. Or at least have a couple glasses of wine before you do. Otherwise, you're just going to screw up the curve. Okay, ready? Here we go.

1. When I see a flower, I think of A: Love or B: Drowning in a never ending river of mucus because of my allergies.

2. When I see a puppy, I think of A: Love or B: Gee, I wonder what it would be like to eat a puppy?

3. When I see that commercial where they tackle Betty White, I, A: think about all the joy she's brought to so many people over the years, or B: I wish they had really tackled Betty White and driven her ancient butt into the ground.

Okay, last question and then we'll find out just how happy you are.

4. If you held the key to world peace, but you'd have to use that key at the same time that your favorite TV show was on, would you A: Save the world because after all you can DVR the show, or B: watch The Biggest Loser because you know someone's going to tell you who won before you get the chance to watch the show and that would really ruin it for you.

Okay, let's see how you did.

1. The flower. Did you say, A: Love, or B: Mucus? If you said A: Love, give yourself 5 points. B: Mucus, subtract 5.

2. The puppy, A: Love, or B: Eat the puppy. If you said "B" you're someone willing to try new things. Scientists say that adventurous people have a more positive outlook. They're happier. Give yourself 5 points. Responding with A: Love, is really more sappy than happy. Minus 5.

3. The Betty White commercial. A: Joy to so many people, or B: Tackle her ancient butt? If you answered A: Joy to so many, that's minus another 5 points.  I checked with Betty. She wanted to take the hit. B: Ancient butt into the ground, give yourself another 5 points.

4. It's world peace. What are you, a moron? A gets 5 points.  B, you are the biggest loser. Minus 5.

Now add up your score and then add 10 points to the total just because it makes me happy if you're happy. Now, if you got less than 10, please move to China, Russia or one of the OPEC countries. You're killing our Gross National Happiness. Anything above 10 – smile, you're happy. And that's what we need in times like these, more happy people.

At least that's what I think. Visit us on www.facebook.com/boomerally and let us know what you think. And be sure to check out the podcast of the latest Boomer Alley Radio show. I'm marc@boomeralley.com

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