My Well-Being

You have probably experienced a wide range of emotions: sadness, grief, victimhood, anger, loneliness, and eventual relief from the constant pain. Many of these relationship issues and relationship problems are fading fast.

You have finally stopped saying "If only this had happened... " or "If only I had said that...". No more theories about what might have been. You are coming out on the other side into the light now. Your own personal development is fully underway. Your self esteem is climbing.

You are feeling better and your outlook on life and people in general has brightened. The train is back on the tracks now. It is a new day. You are indeed bouncing back.

That is Great News

That is great news that your healing process is underway, but are you ready to begin a new relationship?

I mean, are you really ready?

One insightful relationship readiness test is a healthy attitude toward creating your own happiness and joy.

A Simple Scenario to Test Your Attitude

One test of your readiness for a new relationship can be illustrated by the following example with two different plot lines, so let's begin. Imagine that you are going to a dance; you have arrived at the scene and the following events take place.

Scenario #1

For the first scenario, as you walk in, you begin to hear the music, you begin to feel the vibrations from the bass. You can see the dancers already on the floor; their clothes are colorful and fashionable. You begin to watch the dancers spin and move in time to the music.

Then you get the sense that they are gorgeous and lucky, but somehow you cannot seem to identify with them. You are tentative; you are unsure. With each step you take along the dance floor your level of dread increases.

As you approach the middle of the crowd and are still moving forward you get the sinking feeling that you should not have come. Yes, this is shaping up to be a prime opportunity for rejection, you will not be liked. You will not find a dance partner here. Oh, no.

Ok, let's analyze what is going on here. Lots of insecurity, that is evident. But what underlies those nagging doubts and fears? Given this setup; will you have a good time at the dance? Probably not.

Will you ask someone to dance - or will you be asked to dance? Maybe yes, maybe no. Will this outing further you on your way toward bouncing back or will it deepen your doubts? It could go either way but it is not looking good.

Scenario #2

OK, let's review another scenario.. As before, as you walk in to the dance you hear the loud pulsing music. You feel the vibrations from the bass, you see the dancers in their colorful outfits. These are the beautiful people indeed. You enjoy watching them spin and move perfectly to the music.

With each step you take deeper into the room your enjoyment grows. You have come prepared to have a good time. You exude positive energy; you know that you belong here with the fun people. You know that fun is in the air.

Given this setup; will you have a good time at the dance? Definitely, you will. In fact, you already are having fun. You came prepared to enjoy the scene - to take in the sights and the sounds.

You are out in the world ready to interact. It does not matter what happens at the dance, you are already positive and out there in the energy.

What is the Difference?

A key difference in the examples is your expectations. Are you going out in the world trying to take in the large and small joys all around you? Are you an astute observer and receptive to the gift of life as it unfolds?

Do you enjoy just being around others having fun? Can you appreciate beauty and joy in others without focusing on what is missing in your life?

This ability to channel your thoughts into areas that work FOR you, into thoughts that serve your purpose is a key step in being ready for a new relationship.

You have the ability to look back on the event as an opportunity to get out - no matter what the outcome.

You will not judge the outing as a failure to find your soul mate but as a success in getting out into the world. You took the first step. You were bold.

You are on your way. You have new hope for your goal of happiness and love in a healthy relationship in your life.