I once read something that I'll never forget: the mind says YES to everything you think.
So whether it's:
- I can really work on this bad' behavior to modify it, in order to be more effective in my work life, or
- I can change this bad' habit in order to be kinder to myself, or
- I am really a perpetual jerk, or,
- I am really hopeless aren't I?
THE MIND SAYS YES.
If this is the case, think about what you are reinforcing in your life. Where is your focus on your defects or on your possibilities? This is an important area of choice for all of us. Many of us make this choice unconsciously. I suggest we make a more conscious choice by focusing on what we want, not what we don't want. One way to strengthen the possibility of getting what we want is to focus on what it would look like, and how it would feel. So for example, if you want to improve your relationship with your sibling, stop focusing on all the things you don't like about him/her.
Focus instead on what you do want and do like: better times together, more pleasant contact, the ability to laugh together. Focusing on what you do want may open your heart and mind a bit, and that might start to change the dynamic of the relationship. If you keep focusing on all your resentments, etc., you merely build up more. Boomers as a group have been pretty positive about achievements, winning, and getting results. But as we get older, has our focus slipped? Have we lost some of our optimism? That would be only natural of course, and that's why reminders can be helpful!
So the next time you over-think about what's "wrong' with your career, or relationship, or life, see if you can flick the switch to UP and focus on what's right. Can you hear your mind saying YES?